Whenever you are in conflict with others in a group or in your own mind or troubled by a difficult circumstance, and want relief, you have basically two choices: You can either work to change things for the better or you can work to accept things as they are. Both paths require effort on your part. Idle complaints, criticisms, or gossip will not really help things and will likely make things worse.
And it’s helpful to keep in mind that most things you probably can’t change. The only thing you really have power over is your own beliefs and behaviors. If you changed these, would it ease the conflict?
Practical Tip: When in conflict, draw a circle around yourself. Draw it so that inside the circle are the things you can change and outside the circle are the things you cannot:
1. Define the circle of things within your control.
2. Work to change things within the circle.
3. Let go of all that’s outside the circle.
In other words: define your part; take responsibility for improving your part; do not take on other parts.
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