◘ Why i was alone ◘

Who Am I??

A friend who knows me pretty well just asked me..."Why dont you write up about your past in your blog???"

I was confused..... really confused....

I mean..there is nothing to be proud of about what my past has had for me. The main reasons why I do not prefer to tell people abt is because I dont want to expose my softer and more immature side of my personality and more importantly maintaining the anonymity of certain important people in my life due to personal reasons.beacuase nothing is good and nothing is bad in my past but i llearned too much, What my friends have gathered after knowing well abt me, is that they feel i could have changed my life well beforehand and prevented a disaster such as what has happened before and made things better, not just for me but for so many people around me who cared for me and wished me better.

I know I have broken their trust but circumstances forced me to behave the way I did which was primarily due to my immaturity and selfishness. Life has taught me so many lessons, the hard way.. and I feel I wudnt have actually fully realised the gravity of the situation if I did not learn it that way.it was good in one way that " the story begins when my father get always transferd from here to their .and losse my good friends and when i have said to make some new i felt that i have to leave them also .so in that way i become soo much insecured and use to share each and everything with my mother .and when some one want to friendship with me i use to igonre him always "even though they were good but me and my mind don't agree ..and when ever i try to do so it was too late they all make their groups and again i am alone .Same things happen in my colony like in school .you knew i use to play cricket with servants because i like playing but no one to play with me so at last in my friend list i have my father ,mother and some of my home servant's........ so on and on ..and then again transfer and then at last i have make my theory to be busy and make world out of the world.

And when i grown up Things have changed, people have changed. I have changed. What dint change was the past (means no friends and no fun) that I carried everyday, day and night.

And therefore I did not choose to tell many people about what my past was. I really needed to tell only those people who were really close to me, who I valued as friends who would help me when needed. But more importantly, those people who would understand how I felt at that moment of time. Its a matter of shame to me that I haven't told but when i use to tell this to my recent friends or my parents they always say to me that this all was my mistake but i think that i was child that time , but now that I feel I have successfully got myself and the others out of this mess, telling all this to them would probably have no significance and would anyway be too late....

A big sorry to all those who have read this blog and felt bad.......

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